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School Shooting

17 Feb

You wake up to kids have been killed at school. you feel the parents who have lost their children in the shooting.  I know that awful feeling and what it must be like to lose your child.

I wondered about the parents and how they must be doing.  You send your child to school thinking it is a safe place.  Then you get the news that your child is dead,  I saw one of the Mother,s vent who lost her child. I was so glad she did because they needed that and her child is dead but she asks to protect our kids.  I don.t know if could handle it that well.  I would just fall apart .  I have high praise for her and hope the other Mothers and relative and friends get help to deal with this.  No I didn.t lose a child but I am saddened and grieve with them.  No Idon,t have an answer to this or what can be done.


A Decent & Enjoyable Lifestyle

26 Sep

I want to go to an event this week, Thursday, that the hospital I got my breast cancer giving. I bought my ticket and have a nice outfit to wear.  I have attended this event the last two years and it was a lot of fun.

There was nice ladies who were friendly and I enjoyed the program and delicious food. So what’s the problem..  All sorts of panic thoughts come to mind.  Will I be alright and enjoy this time?  Of course I will.  The problem is the last time I wanted to go to something I didn’t make it.  It was just a church festival but really wanted to go.  For some reason I didn’t make it.  I was tired and felt negative.

I wonder if I just let everything get me down and can’t be like I want to be.  Something holds me back.    Well I’ll just overcome this and be me again.  Thank you.


This Can,t Be My Lifestyle

31 Aug

So,I put everything in order.  It takes all day.  The next day I am unable to remember  where I put it.  When my daughter saw this, she said (mom you hide things from yourself

I have fun shopping and am busy all da y I am so happy I can do this.  However at bedtime I am worn out.  The next day I am so achy and tired I can,t do a thing.  Is this old age or chronic fatigue from the cancer ?  I went through two surgeries and about 36 radiation treatments in 2014.  I am blessed that I am cancer free but not the same e as I was before.

I heard T D Jakes say stop crying and whining about how things used to be.  God is providing a better place for you  I agree and will embrace it and carry on my mission God has for me.





I don,t know about this lifestyle. I try to exercise and eat right. I don,t always eat to lose weight and be healthy. Comfort foods feel me up but fruits and vegetables don,t. Sometimes I wonder if worry about health because I have health issues. Is this normal or old age?

14 Jun

 I thought I would keep my teeth all my life but a bridge fell,out when I bit something hard.  As a result I have three front teeth missing.  I,m getting dental implants.  Maybe before this is over I,ll have to use my life savings.  Thank God for that though.

Oh well I had to vent but it,s feeling young and a younger person is in me but I have to accept the lifestyle of the seasons of my life.

So Where Do I Go From Here

23 May

I have had my mamogram and results are cancer free.  I have listened to motivation and inspiration speakers until am blue.  I am stopping listening to how to live and realize I have to broaden my outlook and live.  I can do somethings I was reluctant to do and I mean just everyday housework.  I try now and realize I can.  What slows me down is arthiritis.  I won’t let that make me feel down but will keep on with my hobbies and feel good about myself.

I call my hobbies rituals because they are stress relievers. playing the keyboard, reading, and crafts, planners.  I love those.  I will dance even if it’s just around the house.  I have social anxiety about going to clubs because I didn’t like it after a while because things happen.  However I know that one day I’ll wake up and be ready to go maybe a sports bar or club whatever.  My social anxiety may be valid and not mental.  One of my neighbor’s son got killed trying to break up a fight and this has happened to many times.   However my instinct will tell be when it’s right.  I hope that this post will help others with issues.


in need of distraction

21 Apr


Disclaimer : I am not a medical professional. Do not follow my advice blindly. Always listen to your body [and your doctor] over me. I write from my personal experiences, not yours. 

Giving into a chronic pain flare* is the quickest way to escalate it. While it may seem impossible to get yourself out of bed [and the house], it’s usually exactly what your body needs. Filling our days with positive distractions can be as helpful, if not more, than taking a pill to mask those pain signals for a few hours.

Pictured above is a flowchart to utilize on the days when you just don’t want to do anything. Push yourself to get going, but listen to your body and give it a rest when it needs one. Know your limitations, but don’t let them keep you from trying new experiences.

I’ll confess, I push it too far some days, but…

View original post 108 more words

Depression Won’t Beat Me

9 Apr

I’ve been reading posts and articles about depression.  Yes I fight it and I won’t let it conquer me.  I will keep fighting it and keep going especially when I have the energy to     do things.     That’s when I know I am winning.  Yes there are bad days when I haven’t slept the night before and I am  a hot mess and too weak to do anything.

However I get myself together and self talk. I tell myself it’s just a state of mind.  The funny thing about me is when I can be active I have to tell myself to slow down and stop racing.  I am afraid of being manic and doing and doing even late at night and becoming sick.

I am going to close because it is late but I hope I have helped someone by sharing this.