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A Decent & Enjoyable Lifestyle

26 Sep

I want to go to an event this week, Thursday, that the hospital I got my breast cancer treatment.is giving. I bought my ticket and have a nice outfit to wear.  I have attended this event the last two years and it was a lot of fun.

There was nice ladies who were friendly and I enjoyed the program and delicious food. So what’s the problem..  All sorts of panic thoughts come to mind.  Will I be alright and enjoy this time?  Of course I will.  The problem is the last time I wanted to go to something I didn’t make it.  It was just a church festival but really wanted to go.  For some reason I didn’t make it.  I was tired and felt negative.

I wonder if I just let everything get me down and can’t be like I want to be.  Something holds me back.    Well I’ll just overcome this and be me again.  Thank you.

 

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So Where Do I Go From Here

23 May

I have had my mamogram and results are cancer free.  I have listened to motivation and inspiration speakers until am blue.  I am stopping listening to how to live and realize I have to broaden my outlook and live.  I can do somethings I was reluctant to do and I mean just everyday housework.  I try now and realize I can.  What slows me down is arthiritis.  I won’t let that make me feel down but will keep on with my hobbies and feel good about myself.

I call my hobbies rituals because they are stress relievers. playing the keyboard, reading, and crafts, planners.  I love those.  I will dance even if it’s just around the house.  I have social anxiety about going to clubs because I didn’t like it after a while because things happen.  However I know that one day I’ll wake up and be ready to go maybe a sports bar or club whatever.  My social anxiety may be valid and not mental.  One of my neighbor’s son got killed trying to break up a fight and this has happened to many times.   However my instinct will tell be when it’s right.  I hope that this post will help others with issues.

 

Zip my Mouth Up.

25 Apr

viI will learn to zip my mouth rather than offend, not to offer advice when I know it,s just how I do things and may not be the right thing for someone else. aily Prompt: Zip  However when I feel the need to defend I will unzip.  I will express myself when I should and not to judge others.

However when someone offends me I will let them know.  If they choose to still offend and don,t zip it up I will not argue but know that this is not a friend that I need to associate with.

Depression Won’t Beat Me

9 Apr

I’ve been reading posts and articles about depression.  Yes I fight it and I won’t let it conquer me.  I will keep fighting it and keep going especially when I have the energy to     do things.     That’s when I know I am winning.  Yes there are bad days when I haven’t slept the night before and I am  a hot mess and too weak to do anything.

However I get myself together and self talk. I tell myself it’s just a state of mind.  The funny thing about me is when I can be active I have to tell myself to slow down and stop racing.  I am afraid of being manic and doing and doing even late at night and becoming sick.

I am going to close because it is late but I hope I have helped someone by sharing this.

What I Am Doing Now

4 May

I am in a place where I am fighting depression, I have been for a long time.  I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2014.  I had two surgeries to remove the lump and any cancer in the cells.

I try to watch my diet and lose weight, get exercise and practice the tools.  These are some of the tools.  There are other health issues that I fight, my blood sugar going up is one.  I had to give up the sweets to get it down and stay down or I will become diabetic also watch the cholesterol.  I have regular checkups with my Doctor.

I had a mammogram recently and haven’t got the results yet.  I am frightened that it may have come back.  I hate to go through the treatment.

Radiation left me with almost chronic fatigue.  I couldn’t do very much housework or other things after the surgery.  Even now I have days when I feel like I can hardly get out of bed but I know I can’t  give up but I know I have to keep going.  I can’t give in to that state of being.  I have to self talk and know I can fight it.  It’s beautiful when I accomplish a project or housework;

Well that’s all for now.  Maybe later I will share with you the tools I practice.